Obituary of Dan Barnet

Daniel "Dan" Barnet, 38 of Denver; Son of Fred and Beth Barnet; Brother of Fred (Brittany) Barnet; Uncle to Frederic V and Charlie, and dog dad to beloved Newfoundland: Kuma as well as a friend to a community of people whom he loved and loved him. 

From Dan's brother Fred: 

When we were young kids, mom would always tell me to be nice to Dan.  She would always say “you are bigger than him now but be careful.  One day he will be bigger than you, and then you’ll be in trouble.”  I didn’t buy it—it made no sense.  A little brother can’t be bigger than a big brother.  Not possible. 

OK… so I might have been a little wrong.

Mom, you were right about that one.

He got bigger than me.  And then he kept getting bigger.  I am not talking about his physical size.  His kind heart and his personality were enormous.  Nobody could rival his ability to warm up a room.  He always had big, caring emotions.  He could listen to your problems and feel your pain, without judging or interrupting.

He was always a leader.  From a young age, he always had so many friends both older and younger than him.  A true leader of men, he was fiercely loyal to his friends—and they were always loyal to him.  He could have been a hell of a politician, but he was far too honest and good-hearted to go down that path.

From a young age, he excelled in all sports.  He was particularly drawn to baseball, where he skillfully played every position except for shortstop and centerfield.  My dad always said he ran the bases like he was dragging a piano behind him and “you couldn’t time his speed with a stopwatch—you had to use a calendar.”  Still, he managed more than his share of extra-base hits and even an occasional inside the part home run.  More importantly, he was always the kid rallying the other players on the team during games—keeping his teammates focused on the game and their spirits high.  Encouraging them and bringing out the best in everybody.  That’s who he was.  Yeah, he was a fantastic player, but at the same time, he was an even better coach.

As kids, we fought a lot.  That’s what brothers do.  It never lasted long though, and we were always back to hanging out and causing trouble together shortly after.

When we grew older, and I started driving, Dan started hanging out with me and my friends.  He was younger than us, but we didn’t mind.  He added a certain element that only Dan could.  A certain spontaneity that only he could bring to the table.  The kind where you never knew if the night would end up with you making new friends or running from the cops.

Later on, he repaid the favor.  When I would come back to Denver to visit, he would insist that I stay at his house, which was always filled with his friends.  It was hard to catch him alone—there were always people coming in and out, whether coming by to hang out for a few minutes, a few hours, or even a few days.  I never minded—he surrounded himself with good people.  People with good virtues and good character like him. 

He not only had an open-door policy for his house, but also his heart.  He cared.  There was never anything fake about it. 

Over the past few years, Dan put his heart and soul into building his business.  Working extremely hard to grow it into a very impressive operation.  I was so very proud of seeing my little brother succeed in such a big way.  I enjoyed touring his warehouse each time I went to Denver, amazed at the growth that he was able to achieve with his team. 

He was always encouraging me with my own business, asking me well thought out questions and offering ideas.  He was so supportive and was convinced that my business was about to take off.

He always cared so much.  Not just for family and friends, but even for people he didn’t know.

Nobody else was more likely to hand a few dollars to a hardworking busboy or discretely slide a $20 bill into a waiter or waitress’s hand if he felt they had been undertipped.

To his friends: he loved you all so much.  He didn’t call you his “friends” though, did he?  He called you family, and he absolutely felt that way.  He was so proud of so many of his friends and their achievements.  And every time I got to meet a new friend of his, they would immediately tell me how great he was and that he talked about me nonstop.

He was always there if you needed help.  Always and without question.  Whether you wanted help or not, or even if you didn’t know you needed it yet.  He knew.  He could feel it.  So empathetic.  He could feel your pain and give you what you needed.  He never pretended to care—it was always 100% genuine.

When I started dating Brittany, he warmed to her immediately and was incredibly welcoming to her.  To call our family intense would be an understatement, but Dan made Brittany feel so comfortable from the start.  I’ll never forget when the two of them secretly coordinated a surprise trip and Dan showed up at my door in Atlanta one night just before midnight.  Over the next few years, he came down quite a lot, getting to know Brittany and my crew in Georgia.  On one trip, he told me that I needed to stop messing around and propose to her.  I had a diamond, but no ring yet.  I showed it to him and told him I was planning on proposing in about six months.  He reiterated his message in a way that only Dan could.  I purchased the ring a few days later.

He was a huge help at our wedding reception, and we enjoyed seeing him and spending time with him over the years.  Not just at the epic Thanksgiving meals that he would prepare with my dad, but also during random visits, in Denver or Atlanta, and then eventually in South Carolina.

He had a big personality and freely showered love on those closest to him.  But the one closest to him turned out not to be me or my parents or any of his many, many friends.  I’ve never seen Dan happier and more caring than when our son, Frederic, was born.  Dan immediately sprung into action and showered that boy with so much love and affection.  I cannot describe how much he loved my son, and how good he was with him.  The feeling was mutual—from a very young age, we joked that Frederic was the “New Daniel.” 

They are the same in so many ways.  My son has a huge personality and is so caring and compassionate as well.  They also may be the two loudest people the world has ever known.  They are both bears.  Dan would always tell me “I get him. He is me.”

He has Dan’s compassion too.  This week, Frederic saw me falling to pieces and he compassionately said to me, “well, you’ll always have an Uncle Dan because you have me.”

When our daughter, Charlie, was born two and a half years ago, I got very sick and was close to death.  Dan stepped up hugely and was so supportive and helpful.  We will be eternally grateful for that and for everything else he did to comfort and assist us.  Charlie also loves her “UNKA DAN!”  She always says his name loud and with an exclamation mark, as it should be.  It hurts me so bad that she probably won’t remember him or truly know how much he loved her.

Brittany and I have a third child due on Monday, and Dan was looking forward to coming down and showering the kids with kisses and gifts. 

Dan, I am so sorry that you won’t be there with us physically, but we know you will be there in spirit.  I am sorry that I’ll never get to give you another hug or pick up the phone to hear you say hello for about three minutes while rapping my name over and over.  I am so sorry that I can’t bring my self to read this without breaking down. 

I love you, my brother.  You legend.

When we were little, my mom always told us “be nice to each other.  One day your dad and I will be gone and the two of you will be all you have.”  Unfortunately, mom, you were wrong about that one.

That was good advice, though, and we always took it seriously.  We were nice to each other.  Most of the time.  Thank you, mom and dad, for instilling the importance of sticking together and brotherly love.  Because of that we had a great relationship.  Thank you.

Mom and Dad, he loved you both so much.  You two provided us with so much, and especially values and a sense of humanity.  Dan received his compassion, his warmth, his love, his work ethic, his energy, and his big heart from the two of you. 

Dan was such a big personality.  So caring, so loving.  So loud and booming.  His presence was always felt, and now his absence hurts so much.

He touched so many lives, and the outpouring of support that our family has received is so humbling and warming at the same time.  Thank you all. 

I often heard him refer to his close friends as his brothers.  He meant it too.  I know how much he loved me.  And he loved each and every one of his friends as brothers.  Truly.

Dan was never religious, but he was always a spiritual guy.  I think he would appreciate this verse from Psalm 133.  In Hebrew, it is the famous “hinney ma-tov umah nayim shevat achim gam Yachad.”  On in English: “Behold how good and pleasing it is for brothers to sit together in unity.”

Graveside service will be Thursday, March 28th at 10am at Mt. Nebo Cemetery with Shiva to follow immediately after the service at the MacMillan Family Home at 989 E Radcliff Ave. Englewood, CO 80113.  Please note that due to the expected volume of attendees, there will be valet parking at the MacMillan Family Home.

There will be an additional Shiva on Friday, March 29th from 2-4p at the home of Fred and Beth Barnet at 9403 East Lake Ave. Greenwood Village, CO 80111. 

Graveside service will be livestreamed via the Feldman Mortuary YouTube Channel. 

Contributions in Dan's memory may be made to any charity of your choice.