Saturday, January 6, 2018
Dr. Matus was the first psychologist I saw that helped me as a young man. When I first walked into his office I was a shy, awkward seventh grader, who was bullied at school, and I had such overpowering anxiety that I would throw up every day before class. I had almost no friends, and my memories of that time are wrapped in a gray cloud. I would lie in bed not wanting to move, and I was giving up on life. At first Dr. Matus intimidated me, with his baritone voice, no nonsense New York accent, and substantial height.
"Now Michael, what seems to be the problem?"
With this simple opening phrase, that cut through all the anxiety, all the fear that had wrapped itself around me like a coat I couldn't get off- all of it fell away. He had a way of getting to the crux of any issue, with a kind no-bs sensibility that made life's problems seem to not matter as much. I remember Dr. Matus always used to tell me:
"Michael, what's the worst thing that could happen?"
And I'd tell him, and that worst thing didn't seem so bad anymore, sitting across from the man who would become my mentor and friend. After the first sessions with Dr. Matus I never threw up again, and I wasn't afraid to go to school anymore. I confronted the bullies that made my life hell, and I learned how to stand up for myself, and how to put life in perspective. Dr. Matus shepherded me thru occasional visits, and helped me along my way in the middle school and high school years. He helped me decide to go to school in Washington, DC, and pursue my dream, at the time, of studying International Relations.
Junior year of college, when I was diagnosed with transverse myelitis, a rare viral infection that left me crippled in the hospital for two weeks, near death, Dr. Matus was waiting for me in Colorado, to help me to cope with the anger and fear that I had to deal with. Dr. Matus sat through many appointments with me, where I would just sit and bawl my eyes out, using his common sense psychotherapy to help walk me thru the maze of my life. He was always there, sitting in his comfortable, ridiculously large, prescription chair, because his back was beginning to go out, after sitting with so many patients for so many years. In the end, I recovered, and had the courage and will to return to Washington the next fall, against all odds.
Dr. Matus was more than a skilled psychologist, or doctor, he became a mentor and a friend. He always encouraged me to pursue my dreams, and to not take life too seriously. After I graduated from George Washington in 2010, we used to get breakfast at a little Village Inn near his office in Denver. It is a deep regret, that the last of these happy meetings was in 2013. This past Christmas, while googling for his office phone number, so that I could call him up and ask to meet up and get breakfast after five years, I learned of his passing, and saw his obituary on this sight. I wanted to tell my friend, that I was considering going back to get my PHD in psychology, and get his sage advice on the best path forward.
The greatest thing about Dr. Matus was that you would never know he was this brilliant, compassionate man, with such a wealth of stories, and wisdom to guide anyone through the darkest paths of life's journey. You would only see a big tall guy, a regular guy. Someone who often favored sweaters over his collared shirts, and drove a regular car, and that's exactly what he would have wanted you to see.
God Bless Doc, only God knows how many lives you saved throughout your career. All I can say is thanks for saving mine.
